Traits of COOl MEN

THE DEFINITION OF COOL

  I personally think that being “cool” comes down
to:

1) Being independent

2) Being indifferent

3) Being funny

4) Being socially adjusted

BEING INDEPENDENT

  Independent is the OPPOSITE of “dependent”.

  When you act “dependent”, you lean on others,
you look to them for approval, you ask what they
think before you make a decision, you tend to want
to stay physically close to them, and your
feelings tend to depend on what others feel and
think of you.

  When you act INDEPENDENT, you lean back, you do
things because YOU decided you wanted to, you
don’t ask others what they think – instead you
decide yourself, you are fine walking away from
your friends for awhile when you’re out, and your
feelings are controlled by what YOU think, not
what others think.

  A “dependent” person will go into a bar with
friends, stick close to them all night, ask what
everyone else is drinking before they order, get
upset easily about things that others say, and
constantly be looking for attention and approval
in some way.

  An INDEPENDENT person, on the other hand, will
go into a bar with friends and be more likely
to… walk away and look around the place ALONE to
see who’s there – and feel fine about leaving
their friends for awhile and striking up a
conversation with a stranger… They’ll order a
drink if they want, or water if they want – and
not care what everyone else is drinking… They’ll
be cool and calm no matter what happens – even if
others are getting upset around them… And, most
importantly, they aren’t looking to others for
attention and approval. They’re doing their own
thing, and enjoying whatever happens.

BEING INDIFFERENT

  Most people in this world are ATTACHED to the
outcomes of things. They’re constantly worrying
about what’s going to happen… and talking about
the future in a fearful, uncertain way.

  This type of person always wants to know what
other people think of them, and they’re worrying
about what they should do so other people will
like them. Unfortunately, this almost ALWAYS comes
across as INSECURITY.

  An INDIFFERENT person, on the other hand, just
goes about life and takes things as they come.

  The indifferent person is INDIFFERENT to the
outcome of whatever situation they’re in.

  If it’s a man, and he’s approaching a woman, he
will be OK with whatever happens. If she’s nice to
him, great. If she’s uptight, no problem. If she’s
rich, famous, and beautiful… and starts coming
on to him, fine. No big deal.

  When you are ATTACHED to the outcome of a
situation, it makes you act all kinds of freaky.
You pause, act nervous, hold back, look for
approval, act insecure… and any of 100 other
unattractive things.

  On the other hand, when you’re INDIFFERENT to
the outcome, it makes you MAGNETIC. Especially
when it comes to women and dating. Indifference is
the ultimate way to show a LACK of insecurity in
life.

BEING FUNNY

  Humor is magic.

  It’s a complete mystery why we find things
“funny” and why we “laugh”.

  Crying because someone died makes some logical
sense. It’s a bad thing, and crying expresses a
negative emotion.

  But when you see a dog run into a window
because he doesn’t see it… and he gets a
confused look on his face, you LAUGH. What’s with
that?

  Humor is interesting to me, in that if you’re
funny, it makes people FEEL GOOD inside. They
laugh, and it triggers positive feelings.

  If you’re not naturally funny, it’s a great
skill to learn. Read books. Watch live comedy. Do
whatever it takes to learn how to be funny.

  Most of the “coolest” guys I know are wickedly
funny. Some of them are only funny on occasion…
but they “get it”… and when they do make a joke,
it’s DAMN funny.

BEING SOCIALLY ADJUSTED

  I know that this sounds funny, but most of the
people I know who are “UN-cool” are not very
adjusted socially.

  They lack a certain something in the “social
skills” department that makes it OBVIOUS to others
(and especially to women) that they don’t know how
to relate very well to other people. They just
never learned how to make others feel comfortable
around them.

  If you’ve ever known an accountant or computer
programmer that was brilliantly smart, but totally
boring, you know what I mean.

  If people act kind of nervous, strange, and
uncomfortable when they’re around you, then you
also know where I’m coming from on this.

  I can’t teach you how to make people feel
comfortable around you in two sentences, but if
you need to learn how to mix with people socially,
then start PAYING ATTENTION to what’s going on
around you.

  Watch how others dress, carry themselves, walk,
and talk. Pay attention to little details… like
saying, “What’s up?” when you meet someone new,
instead of “Hello, pleased to meet you” and such.

  …now, is this all there is to being “cool”?

  Of course not.

  But it’s a great start.

  If you can first get yourself to the place
where other people want to be around you just
because they enjoy your company, you’ll find that
taking things to the next level with women will be
about 10 times easier.